” “What do you mean? You never indicated to me you were ever attracted to me…ever,” she said as the two stared into one another’s eyes. Then she asked “Where are you staying at anyway?” “I have no idea,” he replied. Silence surfaced between them. You could see it. She was thinking. Thoughts tumbled throughout her brain. He watched her think. He wondered what she was thinking about. “Stay with me…at my house. It’s small. It needs some work. But I have room for you. Nobody else lives there. I’d be more then happy to have you.” “Are you sure?” Joe asked and she smiled and said yes. “Okay. I’d be happy to. I mean if it isn’t putting you out that is.” “It isn’t,” she came back. “Trust me. It isn’t.” He was told to get in the car. She took him to her home. It was a nice, very small three bedroom house. One story with one bathroom which needed a lot of work and Joe noticed that it did too. She felt bad about that. He didn’t care. He could do some of that work. He knew how to and although he. A signpost marked the arbitrary delineation between Nebraska and Kansas. I stopped and took a photograph of the sign marking the state line. I also took the envelopes of Karen's ashes for Nebraska and Kansas, and only a few steps apart, I let the ashes fly in the light breeze. I noted how my grief over Karen's loss wasn't as heart wrenching as it had been months earlier when I'd started on my trip. Further, the guilt I'd felt about not holding onto that grief had also started to fade.I thought of Anna too. For some reason, I wondered what she was doing right that instant. Was she happy? Would she be happier when I showed up on her doorstep? Would she chastise me for the salacious and lurid emails that talked about my sexual interactions with others in some detail? What would we be like if she liked the emails – and maybe those that follow the rest of my trip? Would they be the catalyst for us making love together? Did we even need a catalyst? If Anna had stayed one more night in.
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